~While reading my post, listen to this song for some added entertainment:
These past few days have been a great big adventure for me. I was called into the city (New York City, that is) by my family because of an emergency, and this is what started my wild and crazy journey. You see, I am a FANTASTIC New York City driver. My issue? I never have a clue where I am. I have absolutely no knowledge of the city whatsoever, the subway line is practically a different language to me, and the 5 Boroughs might as well be a gang for all I know.
So, I was given an address by my mother of where to go – NYU Medical Center, located in Manhattan – and so I quickly MapQuested directions from school to the city and was on my way. I followed the directions perfectly, and was so proud of myself for actually finding my way through the concrete jungle. That is, until I called my sister…
Sarah – Hi! Where are you?
Me – I’m at 39th Street, where should I go from here?
Sarah – Okay, go down to 2nd Avenue and I’ll direct you from there.
Me – I’m on 2nd Avenue.
Sarah – Okay, good, now go find 33rd Street. There’ll be a movie theater there, you can park in front on that.
Me – There’re only warehouses over here…
Sarah – Are you sure you’re on 33rd Street?
Me – Yeah! I’m looking at the sign! It’s like, I’m waiting to get shot. This place is sketchy.
Sarah – Sketchy?? Dave, where do you think you are?! You’re in Manhattan, it’s not sketchy!
Me – Sarah, literally, it’s just warehouses.
Sarah – Okay, I have no idea where you are, go back to 2nd Avenue.
Me – Okay, I’m turning left onto it now.
Sarah – Left?? You shouldn’t be able to go left. Are you driving against traffic??!
Me – No! It’s a two-way street!
Sarah – Dave, 2nd Avenue is a one way street.
Me – Not anymore.
Sarah – Are you sure you’re on 2nd Avenue?
Me – Yes! I’m looking directly at the sign!
Sarah – Dave…Are you in Brooklyn??
Well, low and behold, MapQuest had automatically changed my directions without me noticing, and I had driven all the way to Brooklyn. No wonder I felt like I was going to be shot!
So, now MapQuest is at the top of my shit list. Luckily, though, I was able to make it out of Brooklyn without getting mugged, and I found my family without dying. I think the best part of my adventure was the 10 seconds when a cop was driving next to me. I felt safe. No one could touch me.
Then the cop left and I was fair-game. Did I forget to mention that it’s nighttime when this is all going on?
The moral of the story? I think that it’s time that I lived in the city. Maybe that’ll be where I go after I graduate from school. It would look good to have some connections in NYC, anyway. And anyway, I’ve lived on Long Island my entire life, so people automatically assume that I know my way around, but I think that maybe I should start living up to expectations and actually learn the difference between Times Square and Central Park. Which is the one with the trees?
Well, until next time!
P.S. – Feel free to judge, I’ll allow it 🙂 Everything’s good with the family, by the way.