Vagina. That Is All.

~BEFORE reading my post, listen to this song so that you get it:

Umm wordpress wouldn’t let me attach a video? Weird…..hoes.  Click this!


So, my friend Victoria, being the awesome sex magnet she is, suggested the theme for this post, and well, in case you disregarded the above statement, listen to the attached song! 

Now, apparently, this woman’s vagina is 8 miles wide.  But, I have taken away more from this song than that this woman needs a monster cock to satisfy her.  I have learned that an 8 mile wide vagina can make the world obscenely happy!  Like she said, it’s not her vagina, it’s OUR vagina!  Legitimately though, I’m so happy by how happy this song and music video is.

HOWEVER, of course I am confused by something.  She speaks of a metaphor in here, but never really poses an actual metaphor, and so upon thinking, I have discovered that the famed vigantic 8 mile wide vagina IS THE ACTUAL METAPHOR!  The question is…for what? 

My thoughts:

1. – Jesus

Jesus loves all of us equally, and he’s not just my Jesus, he’s OUR Jesus!  He is here for all of us and loves us all like it’s his job (which it is). 

It's because your vagina is too small









2. – America

The land of the free and the home of the brave!  Like the 8 mile wide vagina!  Think of all of the people who were brave enough to venture to the west-side of our beautiful and polluted country!  It’s like the people who are brave enough to fuck this vagina deep!  And even if you can’t make it in that far, don’t worry Mr. Little, you can FREEly explore the vast hills and rolling plains of the 8 mile wide vagina, taking in the scenery and discovering what secrets hide around every corner!  Maybe this is one of the entrances to Narnia…

3. – Girls With Big Vaginas

Maybe this is really just a way of standing up for girls who have large vaginas.  After all, it’s not their fault, and they keep on truckin’, just to moderately satisfy whichever man comes their way.  Don’t worry, girls with big vaginas, it’s not your fault.  I don’t blame you.

Hehe, they censor you when they air this on TV










Well, those were the top three metaphors which I could come up with.  Regardless of the few metaphors for this one subject, though, I feel that there is actually a lot of deep meaning in this song just in general.  From what you saw, it’s about happiness and love, but it’s also about being yourself!

It could also be about tampons.  We’ve all seen those commercials, right?  The ones where the girl’s like “me and my tampon are best friends.  I want to wear white and spin in slow motion and dance.”  Well, we see all three of these things happen!  Maybe this is a way of saying that you don’t have to only be friends with your tampon!  You can be friends with your vagina, as well!  I don’t see any reason as to why you wouldn’t want to be friends with your vagina.  After all, us guys fight wars for these things. 


Okay I’m done with the vagina talk.  I know that you’re disappointed that every other word won’t be vagina, and honestly, I don’t know how I can break the habit of vagina typing it.  We’ll see how this vagina works out.

So, I have a vagina question to raise to all of you vaginas.  This is going to be the first vagina post ever where I insert a vagina poll, because (1) I discovered polls for the first time recently, and (2) I need the opinions of my vaginas readers!  All 5-28 of you…. Awkwaaaarrrrd 8 mile wide vaginas numbers……

So, I’ve been thinking lately about joining the YouTube vagina community.  I can’t decide if I would be able to make it on YouTube, though.  You see, I glorify the gods of YouTube (aka Jenna Marbles, Kingsley, and GloZell), and I don’t want to be one of those crappy vaginas people who is on YouTube and their vaginas videos suck.  Thoughts?  Should I do it?

I’d keep this blog alive for blog-appropriate posts, and then have the YouTube for YouTube-appropriate posts, of course.  I think it would be fun!  I don’t know, let me know what you all think!  Please respond! 

Now, one more time, with feeling. 




About waterboy1023

I'm a 19 year old boy from Long Island, New York who's interested in a lot of different stuff. I'm a student at the Culinary Institute of America, so I'm going to be a chef one day! I'm here mainly to write stuff, just because I like writing and pretending that I can be creative sometimes, so hopefully my blog can entertain you and maybe you'll even get a laugh or two from it. Hope you enjoy! Please comment as much as you like. View all posts by waterboy1023

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