Since It’s So Warm In Hell, Can I Walk Around Naked?


~While reading my post, listen to this song for some added entertainment:

Whaddup!

Okay, I have a story to start this off.  So everyone at work is freaking out about this Casey Anthony chick.  To be honest, I don’t follow stuff like that cause I don’t have the patience and I don’t watch the news, so to be honest, I have no idea what she even did.  I was going to look it up, but then I had better stuff to do (aka eat tortilla chips).  However, I’m really good at acting like I know what her deal is, so everyone at work thinks that I think she’s a terrible person and I can’t believe she went free.  So there’s this guy at work who keeps talking to me about Casey Anthony, and out of nowhere yesterday, he starts up a conversation.  Well…he’s decided that I’m satanic.  Here’s the legit, word-for-word conversation (for the sake of the story, his name will be Pablo)(Pablo doesn’t speak English well, fyi):

Pablo: Would your parents be happy if you married Casey Anthony?

Me: …… No….. Would your parents be happy if YOU married Casey Anthony?

Pablo: I would never marry Casey Anthony.  You know, they say she is with the people who… you know… paint their nails black.

Me: ……………. My friends?

Pablo: You know… the people who dress in all black.

Me: …………………………… Me?

Pablo: Yes, you know, the devil worshippers!

Emo? Whatever!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

………So basically, according to Pablo, I am a devil worshipper because I dress in all black (and I guess, if you paint your nails black, you’re a devil worshipper as well.  Let’s start a club.).  Whoops, I guess that all those years of Catholic school went down the drain.  At least now I know I’ll be welcome in Hell, cause I’m sure the devil doesn’t like it when non-devil worshippers show up at his doorstep. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, on a semi-unrelated note, I would like to talk about strippers.  I don’t understand why people consider stripping to be such a bad thing.  In my opinion, it’s not derogatory because they’re up there by choice, and therefore it’s consentual. So what if some horny, sexually frustrated, ugly man is mean?  Been to a grocery store lately?  People are mean to people who are doing their job all the time.  I don’t like when people call strippers whores, though.  I don’t approve of that, cause I don’t think strippers are whores.  Honestly, I think it would be fun to be a stripper.  Think about it, you get up, take your clothes off (and we all know that being naked is the most freeing experience in the world), and everyone loves you!  Talk about a self-esteem booster!  If there were strip clubs for women (which I’m sure there are, but I’ve never seen one), I would work in it as a stripper, cause I would feel really good about myself. 

The only reason as to why I’m thinking about this is because there is a strip club on the way home from work, and so as I drove home today, all of the strippers were arriving to get ready for their shifts, and I was like “Good for you, strippers!  I hope someone thinks you’re unbelievably sexy tonight and you get good tips!”  Someone told me once that it’s better to tip strippers with $2 bills, because that’s nicer.  Keep that in mind next time you go to a strip club.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I’m sure I’ve offended like eighty people, so I’m going to wrap this up!  Go get naked!

Sincerely, your favorite devil worshipper,

David

Oh, PS, random story – So I was in the Walmart parking lot and there was a guy pulling out of his spot, so I stopped and put my blinker on to take the spot once he left.  The guy looked at me, shook his head, and pulled back into the spot.  Confused, I drove a few feet down and went into a new spot.  As I got out of my car, I saw the guy pulling out of his spot and driving away.  I guess he didn’t want me to have his spot…. Oh 😦

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About waterboy1023

I'm a 19 year old boy from Long Island, New York who's interested in a lot of different stuff. I'm a student at the Culinary Institute of America, so I'm going to be a chef one day! I'm here mainly to write stuff, just because I like writing and pretending that I can be creative sometimes, so hopefully my blog can entertain you and maybe you'll even get a laugh or two from it. Hope you enjoy! Please comment as much as you like. View all posts by waterboy1023

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